I’m in my recliner looking out at the snow. The glare off of the white blanketed lawn makes my bifocals darken a little but not enough to make it hard to see my episode of “Diagnosis: Murder”.
The grass reaches through the snow. The snow is about 2 inches deep with drifts bordering on nearly half a foot deep. The drifts are so deep that your feet would get cold it you tried to walk across the lawn in flip flops. Outside is just brutal. It’s not fit for man nor beast. I know this because my Grandson hasn’t been in school for over a week. I know this because church attendance is low and Netflix attendance is high. I know this because I only go out to get the mail and to attend the boot sale at Rural King.
I sit up and peer out at the devastation. I pull my attention away from the snow apocalypse just in time to save my feet from being crushed by a 13 year old on a hoverboard roaring through the very room he is not allowed to ride in. Did I mention there’s been no school for over a week? I took a deep relaxing breath as the cat screamed in pain and the hoverboard ca-thumped into the wall.
Times do change. Societies collapse. Communities lose their nerve. Children become sissies. We used to be tougher. Is that my opinion? That is fact, and I can prove it. Get on your phone thing or your phablet and look at Facebook. Check my timeline and you’ll see my proof.
The newspaper clippings are there. It was January 25th of 1978 in Indiana. Hulu and the Internet were just a dream in the mind of 29 year old Al Gore. Incidentally, Al also gave us the iconic saying, “A zebra doesn’t change its spots”. The barometer read 28.23’ Hg in Michigan, which is the lowest barometric pressure ever recorded on the central United States. That’s lower than an Illinois politician that’s fresh out of tax money to waste. That’s lower than a telemarketer without a call list at dinnertime. It’s really low.
The wind blew around 100 miles an hour. The wind chill was -60° F. It snowed around 40 inches in some places but drifts were literally up to the roof tops and the power lines. Lots of people lost power and water pipes froze. Cars were hopelessly buried and would stay that way for weeks.
Where I was stationed it was even worse. Horror of horrors, the cable went out. The TV showed nothing but electronic snow. There was no Netflix, and VCRs cost over $1,200, which for me was like a year’s pay. Nobody but politicians and telemarketers had one.
The next day, the 26th of January, a Thursday, I ran out of cigarettes. That’s when stuff got real. It’s weird what an addict will do to feed the addiction. I walked across the frozen, desolate base to buy smokes. It’s a good thing I knew where I was going, because I couldn’t see. It’s also a good thing that the Air Force issues arctic gear or I’d have died. The surgeon general should post a warning that smoking could cause frostbite and hypothermia.
I got the smokes and made it home. I waited.
Three days later I ran out of food, but the smokes held out so I was good.
Eventually a rescue squad used snowmobiles to deliver food. We got a chicken, milk, bread, corn flakes, and a carton of Camels. It wasthe best meal ever. We gradually dug out and life happened. The cable came back on and Barnaby Jones solved crime.
I overcame the blizzard for the noblest reason, to get smokes. Nobody would do that today. Back then, everyone did similar things because we weren’t sissies.
I think the kids did school work. I don’t specifically remember schools being open, but I bet they were. Just like I had the tenacity to brave the blizzard, parents were brave about getting the little darlings out of the house.
So here we sit, the boy not learning a thing except how to get on my nerves. Here we sit all weak and sissified because a little snow. Here we are with our Netflix from Al Gore without the gumption to go to school or walk to get smokes. What will become of us?
Suck it up and do stuff even when the lawn is coldish. Get out and live. Oh, and stop by. I have a list of things I need.
Fini.
No comments:
Post a Comment